What’s your politeness proximity?
When you are entering or exiting a building, how close does someone have to be in order for you to hold the door? A few steps away? A dozen? Two dozen? If someone inadvertently drops a personal effect from a table of the restaurant you are in, how close do you have to be to retrieve it for them? Next table over? Two tables away? Across the whole restaurant? Does it change anything for you if others are around?
We all have a politeness proximity?
Take this idea one step further. Do you have a politeness preference? Meaning that you are more apt to help a certain gender, age, or ethnicity? Would you be more likely to hold the door for a middle age mom or dad type than a 17-year old grunge skater type? How about your tendency to jump at the chance to help a typical middle aged American black or white male dressed business casual, as compared to a typical middle aged Arabic black or white male dress in traditional Muslim attire?
Just one more step. Do you have politeness problem discrimination? Meaning that you assess what kind of distress someone is in and then discriminate as to your availability to help. Would you stop to help a disabled motorist? What about a disabled stroller parent? A person choking? A child being hyper-disciplined in the mall? A disoriented senior? A short-of-cash patron in the grocery store?
Just observe yourself for the next several days and muse about your politeness programming. At some point read Luke 10:25-35 during this observation.
Extend the conversation by leaving a comment.
i don't know if we should,
i don't know if we should, however it may be an intrinsically valuable sort of action (guess who)
INTERESTING, I WILL BE
INTERESTING, I WILL BE OBSERVING MYSELF ABOUT THIS NOW. THANKS!
This really makes me think...
...I like to watch the show "What would you do?" It airs ABC (I believe) on Friday nights. There are all sorts of scenarios, i.e. seeing a mother hit her child out of anger, passing by a stranger trying to break the lock of a bike, watching as a man in a restaurant/bar drugs his date while she is away in the restroom or watching as a business owner refuses to wait on someone of a different ethnicity then they are...All of these scenarios are of course built to enlist action from the surrounding strangers or passer-by's...but it doesn't always happen. It can be quite outraging to watch when no one steps in, or to see when people treat others so unkind and those around support the situation, such as in cases of racial bias or judgment.
I have often found myself yelling at the TV hoping that SOMEONE would do SOMETHING, or stating out loud to my Husband that "I most certainly would have stepped in, in that scenario."
But would I?
I would like to think that given the simple "holding of the door" scenario, I would always take the extra second to hold the door for anyone following closely behind me; but have I always done it? I am sure there have been times when I was simply "running late" and had no concern for those following behind me. I know there have been times when I have seen someone approaching a door with their arms full and I have thought to myself "someone else closer will get the door for them." I wonder then, what would happen if we all thought that way. I can see the scenario playing out now..."A frazzled mother with her arms full of babies, crying and wailing, can't open the door to get in from out in the rain because everyone inside watched and waited for someone else to get the door for her." Sad. But we have all done it, or reacted in that way...somehow.
That doesn't even begin to get me on the preference aspect of your post...Gosh, I don't think I have a preference...but do I? And furthermore, do I discriminate?
I love the story of the Good Samaritan, for it's challenge and purpose; but would I think of that story in a similar situation in my daily life? I have seen myself react in a way to help someone in a few situations, but kept my distance to ensure my safety as well...these days it can all just be so...unknown and dangerous.
I am not sure if you can tell by my response...but I am really challenged by this. It's going to be a real big thinking point for me. Shouldn't we all take the time to challenge our actions like this...yes, I think we should.
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